the cul-de-sac

Origins of the cul-de-sac

I grew up living on a cul-de-sac.  The street, which only has one way in and out, has 16 houses on it and even now, years later, my parents still live there.  It will always be home to me.

The street size is such that I knew everyone in every house growing up, and over the years, I’ve been able to keep track of folks moving in and out, getting to know new neighbors over time as houses turned over.  I will even recognize parents, siblings, or children of neighbors who visit often.  I have sold many a box of Girl Scout cookies, mistletoe bunches, and babysitting & yard care services over the years to the neighbors.

Once when I was 8 or 9, I went out to ride my bike in the street (safe, because not that many cars drive down a cul-de-sac except the people who live there).  I had been out a while and my parents wondered where I was.  They looked up the street and saw my bike leaning against the curb at a neighbor’s house.  I had been outside and the neighbor offered me fresh cookies and I had wandered inside for an afternoon treat.  This was a regular occurrence on our street.

We used to have a yearly 4th of July block potluck.  Neighbors would drag out their BBQs and shade tents, bring homemade dishes to share, and gather at the end of the cul-de-sac to eat and celebrate together.  Mid-afternoon, the kids would gather with their vehicle of choice (scooter, bike, roller skates, etc.) in their red-white-and-blue garb and have a mini parade down the street.  There would always be a cold sweet treat to cap off the afternoon.

On an average afternoon, you can hear any one (or several) of the neighborhood kids playing out in the street.  They’ll chase each other, ride their bikes up and down various neighbors’ driveways like a makeshift obstacle course, or be playing hide-and-seek in the collection of front yard shrubbery.  You can usually hear their playful shrieks from at least a few houses away.

Around 7:30 or 8 on a summer night, you might see any number of neighbors out on a short evening walk.  A loop of less than half a mile can take an hour if you catch enough neighbors out watering lawns or walking dogs, ready for some friendly chit chat.

During the pandemic, my parents hosted a driveway sip-and-chat, where neighbors were invited to bring their own drinks and cups and sit in chairs spread out across the driveway and lawn.  In fact, they still do these on the occasional summer night and neighbors will linger for hours in folding chairs, chatting over homemade nibbles brought to share.

When some of the neighborhood “grandparents” got older and became ill, a neighbor who works as a nurse was the one to stop by to help with issues created by a feeding tube.  When some neighbors discovered their unlocked cars had been rifled through the night before, a street-wide email went out warning other neighbors to lock up and keep an eye out.  When neighbors are out of town, someone will take their trash cans in after trash day.

It's just the kind of place you want to be. 

You know you can count on the people around you and any conversation is easy to slip into because you have shared history and connection.

There is a vibe to this place.  When I drive up the hill to the cul-de-sac, my breathing slows and I can hear the leaves rustling in the breeze.  I’m relaxed, content, present, grateful.  I feel seen, supported, welcome.  I want to create this feeling for myself, for others, for us all.  Home.